Guest Post: Garbage Wars (Part II)

[Apparently, men have trouble with garbage.  I wrote about my husband’s inability to use the trash can a while back and now we hear from Maria in Alabama whose husband seems to have a similar problem.   Thanks for sending this in Maria!  And maybe your husband will someday learn to actually use the garbage can the way it’s intended.

Have a story about your husband or boyfriend you’d like to see here?  Send them to me, along with any pictures, to]

Here’s an annoying thing my husband of 14 years will not stop doing. Yes, even after 14 years, I still can’t train him right.

In our kitchen we have a smallish white trash can. When my husband Bill has an item that is too big to fit in the trash can, such as a pizza box or his “Silk” soy milk cartons (shown in the photo), he will set it BESIDE the trash can instead of just taking the thing to the outside garbage bin, which is literally only 16 footsteps from the kitchen trash can! 16 steps. I walked the distance to check. We have a small house and the outside garbage bin is right outside our back door, which adjoins the kitchen.  But he can’t walk those extra 16 steps, so he litters the floor with his extra-husky-sized trash. This is a weekly event.

So you might ask why I don’t just put a larger can in the kitchen. I never wanted a larger trash can inside the house because I know with certainty that if I put a larger one in there, Bill would fill it up to the brim with all kinds of stinky waste products and NEVER take it outside until our house smelled so bad I’d have to move out. (He is immune to bad odors.) I’d rather take out smaller amounts of trash more frequently to prevent odors. Plus, like I said, there is a huge garbage bin just 16 footsteps away from the small one.

So this is how we live. He’s a very nice person except for his bad habit.

I managed to get a photo of his crime. It wasn’t hard … all I had to do is wait until he bought soy milk again.



25 responses to “Guest Post: Garbage Wars (Part II)

  1. Aaahhhhh…. husbands & trash, it’s a battle that I certainly cannot win either!!

    My dear hubby likes to carry his empty soda cans (he drinks WAY too much soda but that’s a completely different topic!) into the kitchen and places them into the SINK.

    The trash can is literally underneath the sink in the cabinet. Why he cannot extend his arm another 5 inches to open the cabinet is simply beyond my comprehension. I would guess that about 4-5 days a week I am picking up a can out of the sink to throw it into the trash.. WTH??

  2. Oh that’s so funny. If I didn’t know better I’d think all of our also-annoying husbands were actually one and the same. My husband does the exact same thing! He’ll set his box or whatever that doesn’t fit, right next to the trash (that obviously needs to be taken outside). I think they think there is a fairy that makes it disappear for them!

  3. This kind of reminds me of my college apartment trash.

  4. AAGH! This is my life. I HATE this so much it’s not even funny. He’ll take the trash out… eventually… and meanwhile there’s a gallon jug of orange juice on my freaking floor…

  5. There is a very simple way to change this habit, but it requires a little effort on your part: move the trash to a spot he frequents. For example, if he loves to watch tv, pile it on the couch. Or, you could just place it in an obvious spot such by blocking a walkway or the front door. Continue until the trash finds its way to the outdoor trashcan.

  6. Ummm. The only thing that really comes to mind when I am looking at this is dont y’all recycle. I am no granola person, but, that silk box looks recyclable, and I know that soda cans are definitely recyclable. You can get great recycling combo cans anywhere these days.

  7. Sigh, same here, but ours is boxes (computer stuff) and recyclables.

  8. Ha, I so like your blog….. @the hubby diaries -women always wanted a few inches more extension. I used your blog in a post today for my ‘Frolicking Friday’s Romp.’ Hope you didn’t mind the photo I used. Keep us entertained.

  9. please please please recycle!!!! cardboard boxes take up SO MUCH space at landfills and they’re totally recyclable!

    • Thats what I was going to say. I expected it to be the plastic carton instead of the cardboard. Both of which can be recycled. I have the same trouble with my uncle. If I do even get to him to actually use the garbage can, vs leaving things on the floor and pissing me off, then I have to worry about him not recycling properly.

  10. As a husband I can totally relate to this post, amazing, I would actually write more but I need to take the trash out

  11. I’d hate to live with you. Is this really worth getting frustrated over? I mean, your husband could be doing much worse things and here you are complaining about milk cartons and pizza boxes.

  12. My boyfriend/roommate does the same thing…and if there is more than one item, he lines them up against the wall-the other day he had FIVE different trash items lined up in our 5×5 box of a kitchen next to the trashcan

  13. My husband does this too. But, he adds another annoying twist to it: he won’t let me take it out either! Whenever I something up and start to head, he stops me, grabs it from my hand, and says, “The garbage is my job.” But, instead of taking it out himsel, he puts it back to beside the garbage can. There’s no winning on this one.

  14. Julie it’s meant to be funny. Take a chill pill 🙂

  15. We have a trash compactor that will hold a huge amount of trash, so it’s not a matter of the can being full. He just can’t seem to actually open the compactor (foot pedal). He leaves his paper cups, plates, snack wrappers etc. ON THE COUNTER TOP DIRECTLY ABOVE THE COMPACTOR. I guess he thinks the trash fairy comes and actually throws it away.

  16. Ask yourself, when you have a heavy grocery bag, do you take some things out and make two or three trips or do you ask your husband to carry it? Like everything in life, it’s a two way street.

    Why do people let little shit get to them? You’re having a shitty day, great, don’t blame it on some trash can or on your wife’s nagging about a trash can. Man (or woman) up and say c’est le vie and move on.

  17. Hey, I really feel for you. My dad up and left my mom when I was a little kid, but at least he didn’t do something REALLY bad like put a box next to the trashcan. That would have been tragic.
    Are your lives really so easy that you have time to get upset enough about this stuff to post it to the intarwebs? You should be thankful to only have “problems” like these.

  18. Why don’t people realize that this blog is meant for entertainment. She is not divorcing him over the trash, merely describing his quirks in a way that will get a laugh. I have a love hate relationship with this blog…I’m glad to know i’m not the only one who goes through the trash issue and yet i’m working on the acceptance that my boyfriend of 3 years probably will not change….sigh….
    Still, I enjoy your site very much!

  19. Thaksin's Annoyed Wife

    My husband does this EXACT same thing! What’s worse is that now he doesn’t even bother to see if things (Even relatively small things) will fit in the trash can before piling them up beside or on top of it! Adding insult to injury, our 6-year-old has picked up the habit, so now out of four of us in this family (the baby’s too young to do the trash thing) I am now the only one who actually puts stuff in the trash can!

  20. Collette – Your husband does have a fairy that takes out the trash – you! And sarcasm doesn’t work (believe me, I’ve tried). Ask him nicely to put the trash in the can, and take the trash out when its full. You might have to ask him over and over until he ‘gets it’, but your sanity is worth the effort. If your husband loves you and you’re nice to him in other areas of your relationship, well, that usually works.

  21. These are some of the reasons that I had chosen never to get married. I don’t have the time or care to take care of a man child. I had learned my lesson from watching my parent’s marriage while I was growing up.

    • You .. are sooooo … smart. When I get out of this marriage – it will never happen again. I agree with many posters – there are so many worse things than the trash … but it is all relative – there are only so many annoying habits one can stand. I often offer up the sometimes petty annoying issues by realizing and praying for our soldiers lying in the heat and covered in sand and scared to death …. and the spouses/loved ones at home .. worrying to death and aching from missing them … but sometimes it just all gets to me. I like to sit, talk/discuss things – come to a mutually acceptable plan that will work for both (give/take) .. but it is ALWAYS — he says yes he will do something — and then doesn’t do it .. it got old .. once my kids got out of the house .. I realized I am stuck with a man child. My fault, my decision, my plan to get out – all in my hands.

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